


sticks and stones

by toddperry



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: "The Pen Fic", First Kiss, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Neil is one petty mf, anderperry, i have no idea what to tag this, pens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28524591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toddperry/pseuds/toddperry
Summary: Neil thinks Todd is in love with Stick, and Neil gets petty. But all is fair in love and war, right?
Relationships: Neil Perry/Todd Anderson, Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 11
Kudos: 72





	sticks and stones

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone in campitts, because the whole idea for the plot was a joint effort and I was just the one who had to put it into words. I love petty Neil. This is also the longest thing I have ever written, I started off planning to write about 2000 words, but here we are.

Neil had never thought much about his sexuality growing up, but when Todd Anderson arrived at Welton the knowledge that Neil liked boys and not the girls he always thought he had suddenly struck him in the face like a ton of bricks- in truth Neil had never really had a crush on anyone before Todd and so he just assumed he fit the ‘norm’ and he would one day marry some country club housewife his father picked out for him. But the very first moment Neil set his eyes upon Todd he knew the game was over for him, there was something about the other boy that caused a flicker of flames to burst up through Neil’s stomach all the way to his heart, and he was lost. He also considered it fate that Todd was assigned to be his roommate. Not much in Neil’s life goes the way he wants it to, so anytime the universe does grant Neil something, he knows it must be because it was meant for him. 

With this realisation came a great dilemma, however. Would Todd ever like him back? Was Todd even interested in boys like him? And most of all, how could Neil ever come out in a world that hated him for who he loved? In the end Neil came to a decision: he would not reveal his feelings to Todd, even as they grew and grew over study groups and late nights talking under moonlight, he would remain discreet and remain Todd’s friend. Because after all was it really worth the risk of losing Todd entirely? Ultimately, Neil just wanted Todd in his life and being his friend would have to do.

But once again, not much goes Neil’s way in life and he swore he would be indifferent to Todd, except as a friend, and Neil really tried and tried. But then, one evening as they walked through the woods to the cave he and Todd fell back from the others, and as they padded along through the brush Todd turned to Neil and looking up at him curiously asked,  
“Neil, what do you think of Stick?” causing confusion to spread immediately over Neil’s face,

“What do I think about him?” Neil parrots back the question and Todd sighs,

“Yeah, like um- do you think he is attractive?”, Neil recoils slightly, taken aback by the question and also by what it might mean, a blush rises up his neck, but he answers honestly, 

“He’s handsome, I guess,” but then he rushes out quickly, “not that I would think about it much. Why? Do you think he is?” in an attempt to cover up his tracks, he can’t let Todd know he likes boys, even though it isn’t even Stick that he fancies, but the very boy who is enquiring about his opinion on Stick’s appearance at this very moment, or he might be led down the rabbit hole that is his feelings and end up confessing to Todd.

“I do actually, yeah, I do.” Todd says, facing forwards towards the cave entrance that they are now quickly approaching, but Neil notices Todd glance at him out of the corner of his eye, a little bit like a deer in headlights but his eyes were full of care. This was lost on Neil though, because he was following the train of thought that maybe Todd is gay, maybe Todd is like him, but maybe Todd doesn’t like him. Neil had thought a lot about what he would do if Todd was straight, but he had not thought much about what he would do if Todd was interested in men, but not him. Somehow, that hurt more. 

Over the next week, Neil pays even more close attention to Todd than he did before, which is a lot considering Neil normally spent most of his classes staring at the back of Todd’s head eyeing up his smooth hair and lithe neck. In fact, that is exactly what Neil was doing in the following Monday’s English lesson. Neil is so enamoured with the pale smooth skin of Todd’s neck, and how Todd’s hand rubs at it anxiously – oh, how Neil would love to hold his hand and caress his knuckles and tell him it will all be okay – that he actually jumps slightly in his seat when Todd suddenly leans across to the right, bending down and stretching his arm out to pick up a pen that is rolling gently over the floor towards him. Neil follows the direction of where the pen came from to see Stick also leaning down to pick it up, and the situation becomes clear. Stick’s pen has dropped on the floor, is rolling towards Todd and Todd, sweet Todd, is going to pick it up for him. Neil watches as Todd grabs the pen and flicks his head back up not realising that Stick was also chasing his pen, only to knock the top of his skull on the other boy’s chin and let out a little yelp. Stick recoils and rubs his chin but quickly asks if Todd is okay and Todd responds with a shy smile,  
“Yes, yes, thank you, sorry Stick that was my fault” and Stick laughs and grins back at Todd, 

“Well, I hope my chin hasn’t caused any lasting damage to that smart brain of yours” Stick replies, and Neil is shocked when he sees Todd’s face turn a deep shade of red. He can’t comprehend that someone else is making Todd blush, the only other time Neil has seen him blush is when Neil teases him or that time Neil grabbed his knee as he stood up from the cave floor. It’s certain then, Todd has to be in love with Stick, after all Todd did ask Neil’s opinion on Stick’s looks and now he’s blushing as red as a tomato at the boy, so Neil is doomed to be second best to him forever. How can you beat someone’s first love? Even if Todd eventually turns his affections towards him, he won’t have the honour of being the first boy Todd fell in love with.

Neil knows Todd has never been in love before because Todd told him, stuttered it more like, one-night while they whispered at each other across their room. Neil had said he had been in love but didn’t say that it was Todd he was in love with, and Todd didn’t even try and ask who it was. This upset Neil for some reason, he wanted Todd to be interested in his love life, he wanted Todd to care. Instead, Todd had just let out a quiet “Oh” and rolled over in his bed to face the wall and the conversation that night ended. 

The lesson comes to a close and Neil practically leaps out of his seat to go talk to Todd, he tugs on the end of Todd’s jacket sleeve and the other boy turns to face him, 

“Are you okay?”, Neil asks reaching up to feel the top of Todd’s head, “Stick shouldn’t have been so careless… well, I can’t feel any bump, but let me know if you start getting a headache-” Todd cuts Neil off with a laugh,

“Neil stop being such a mother, it was just a little accident and if anything it was me that was careless, not Stick”, and Neil’s mood darkens even more because now Todd is defending Stick’s honour, impulsively Neil glances at the door where he spots Stick leaving and glares at his back, but Todd reaches out and gently grabs Neil’s chin turning his face towards his own that, Neil notices, is blessed with a small smile,

“Neil, you don’t have to be my knight in shining armour, you know. Especially when I’m not even in danger.” Todd let go of Neil’s chin then and resumed packing his workbook away, lifting it all up into his arms and began to move towards the door to leave, Neil follows along after him remaining a few steps behind and pondering what Todd had said. Then, as Todd begins to climb the stairs up towards the dormitories, Neil suddenly stops at the foot of the staircase and speaks,

“Todd-“ Neil stammers a bit, “what if-“,

“What if what, Neil?” Todd stares straight into his eyes and Neil feels so on the spot and his hands begin to feel clammy, and suddenly it feels like there is something blocking his throat, and Neil has never been speechless before, but now he can’t seem to put what he wants to say into words, and what he does mean to say is “But what if I want to be your knight in shining armour?” but of course only Todd would render him lost for words, so in the end noble and gallant Neil Perry resorts to squeaking out,

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” and Neil notices that Todd’s shoulders deflate a bit, but he shrugs it off as Todd gives him a concerned look, but then turns nevertheless to continue up to the dorms. 

They don’t talk again until the study group meets in the common room after dinner. Once they entered their dorm room, Todd had become preoccupied with writing, and this meant his back was turned to face away from Neil due to the position of his desk. And Neil became preoccupied with reading his lines for the play and pretending he wasn’t admiring Todd from across the room. 

Later, in the common room, Meeks is testing Charlie on his knowledge of the periodic table and Pitts, Knox, and Cameron are busy making loud buzzer noises every time Charlie gets an answer wrong, so Todd takes the moment to ask Neil a question,

“Neil, I was thinking, we could maybe ask Stick if he wanted to join the meetings sometime?” Neil looks at Todd blankly and in as monotonous a voice he can muster simply says,

“No. We cannot.” and Todd cowers a little, not used to Neil being so uptight,

“B-But why?” and Neil curses inside his head because he realises he’s made Todd stutter and he only does that when he’s anxious, but in the end his jealousy overrules his regret and Neil turns back on the indifferent voice he has perfected and replies,

“Because that’s just not how it works, Todd.” Todd frowns at this and glances back down to his notebook on the desk, he fiddles with a torn corner, tugging at it until the paper fully rips and then, while fiddling with the ripped corner in his hand, looks back at Neil,

“But Neil, didn’t you say forget how it works?” and the look he gives Neil is best described as disappointed and all at once Neil feels ashamed because it is a little harsh to exclude Stick, especially if Todd has a crush on him, shouldn’t he be helping Todd to win his man, be a good wingman or whatever it is called, that’s what Charlie would do. But then Neil, his emotions an ever-changing tide, feels the dangerous coil of envy wrap itself about him like a serpent and before he knows it, he’s snapped out a curt,

“He just can’t, okay?!” and he pushes his chair back with a little too much force, creating a loud clatter as it collides with the chair behind his, and in his embarrassment, he mutters a quick “Sorry” and strides out of the common room as quick as possible, leaving Todd, and the rest of the Poets, staring after him dumbfoundedly. Knox breaks first and laughs at Todd’s confused face and then proceeds to make another one of his loud buzzer noises, as if Todd had just got the answer wrong in a game show, and asks,

“Christ Toddy, what’d you ask Neil that got his knickers in such a twist?” and Todd replies honestly, like he always does,

“I just asked if Stick could join the meetings…” a funny look comes over Charlie’s face then as though he might know something and Todd intends to ask what he is thinking about before Charlie shakes his head and says,

“Well, Neil didn’t seem happy about it, so I say no.” and Knox looks at Charlie a little funnily,

“But Stick’s swell Nuwanda, I sit with him in Latin” but Charlie just stares pointedly at Knox and shakes his head again and Knox sighs, “fine then, I just think it’s a little mean… we let Todd in after all,” he glances at Todd and smiles, “not that we didn’t want you or anything, Toddy” but Charlie is gathering up his things to follow after Neil and so Todd begins to do the same, jogging a bit to catch up with him,

“Charlie,” the other boy looks at him with a raised eyebrow, “Nuwanda, sorry, is Neil okay? I know he talks to you about stuff, an- and I don’t know… he’s been acting a little odd lately.”

“I think it’s just the play Todd, you know he’s always looking over his shoulder for his dad, as if he’d come and try stop him,” but then a curious look comes over Charlie’s face, “why did you want Stick to join the Society anyways?” and Todd’s ears redden and the blush begins to spread over his cheeks,

“Oh- uh, no reason, I- I just wanted to see what Neil thought about it” but Charlie gives him a knowing look and Todd feels his gaze press into his soul, “Okay, but you can’t say anything… you promise?” and Charlie grins, spits on his hand and holds it out for Todd to shake, and Todd begrudgingly clasps his hand and shakes, Charlie notices how Todd’s hand trembles slightly and seeking to provide some reassurance confidently says,

“I, Nuwanda of Hellton, solemnly swear to keep this promise” while smirking that Cheshire cat grin that is so unique to Charlie, “so what is it I’m promising to keep my mouth shut about then Toddy?” 

“Well, I- uh-,” Todd gulps audibly, “I think I’m, uh- I’m in love with Neil… and I’ve been trying to see if he likes me,” Todd didn’t even think it was possible but Charlie’s grin widens even more and he nods his head to signal for Todd to continue, “and well- I found this magazine in town, an-and it said that if you want to get a boy’s interest you have to show him that there are other fish in the sea, so he’d better catch you first.” At this Charlie sniggers so violently that he ends up choking on his own voice and Todd has to pat him on the back,

“Oh Todd, I’ve read those magazines too,” Charlie slides a hand through his hair, “and it really works… I think if you keep up with what you’re doing Neil will be wrapped around your finger in no time” and Todd who had looked down at the floor in embarrassment from Charlie’s sputtering reaction looks up quick as a flash and says,

“You really think so Nuwanda?”

“Oh I know so Toddy.” Charlie beams and Todd feels reassured. They reach the dorms and go their separate ways, with Charlie patting Todd on the back to give him some reassurance. Todd enters his and Neil’s room, which is now dark, and spies Neil’s sleeping form facing against the wall. 

“Neil- Neil are you awake?” Todd whispers but gets no response and so he sighs and begins to ready himself for sleep too, not wanting to disturb Neil in his slumber by studying. Unbeknownst to Todd, Neil was awake, but he was feeling too ashamed from his earlier outburst and also too upset at the prospect of Stick being the holder of Todd’s affections that he wanted to remove himself from the world entirely for a few hours, and so he lay staring at a chip in the wall and imagined a future where he was out, and happy, and Todd was with him.

The next day Neil decides on a new plan of action, he will assert his dominance over Stick by being as touchy with Todd as he can. He begins by gently grasping Todd’s bare shoulder as he changes and chirps out a “Good morning Todd” to which the other boy gasps a greeting back, jolted out of his daydream (that may or may not have been about Neil) by Neil’s cold palm. 

Then at breakfast Todd asks Neil to pass him the jam, and Neil knows Todd’s favourite is raspberry, but he disregards this fact and instead passes him the blackberry and makes sure their fingers touch as he does so, just so he can grasp his fingers again as he takes the jar of blackberry back and trades it for the favoured flavour, Todd blushes the colour of the very jam he’s spreading over his toast and Neil’s face lights up with a small smile. A small victory, but a victory, nonetheless. 

After breakfast Neil offers to carry Todd’s books for him and Todd tries to say no but before his mouth can even begin to form the word Neil grabs them from the table and moves to go their Math class, Todd stands a little shocked before shaking himself out of it and following after Neil.

After lunch all the Poets have a free period together for independent study, Neil arrives with Todd to the study room and pulls a chair out for Todd before sitting down next to him. The other Poets arrive soon after, but Todd and Neil are already engrossed in their work- what the other boys don’t know is that Neil has also initiated a game of footsie under the table, and every so often the two boys glance at each other from the corner of their eyes and chuckle under their breath. 

Alas, for Neil, this happy moment was short-lived because, looking up momentarily from his chemistry homework, he notices the tall and lanky form of Stick approaching their table, making a beeline for the empty chair that is directly opposite Todd’s. Neil, attempting to remain nonchalant, stretches his arms and as he brings them back down he wraps the one nearest Todd around his shoulder, Todd tenses under his arm but then Stick walks up, taking his attention from Neil, and rests his hand atop the back of the chair, casting his gaze over all the Poets and asks,

“Is this seat free?”, and his enquiry is followed immediately by Neil harshly grounding out a  
“No.” all the while Todd simultaneously says “Yes!”, once everyone registers what just happened Charlie lands a hard kick on Neil’s ankle and Todd whips his head around to face Neil with a look of confusion. Understanding the message Neil lets out a deep sigh and exhales an indifferent “Fine, yeah, it’s free.” and rolls his eyes, Todd frowns slightly but Neil notices his gaze turn on Charlie who quirks the corner of his mouth up in a small smile and nods his head slightly. Neil’s train of thought is broken however by Stick, who has now sat down, leaning over the table slightly to look at Todd’s work. 

“Oh Todd, you’re doing English, I know you’re a good poet, would you mind reading over my poem for me?” and Todd glances at Neil again out of the corner of his eye but Neil has fixed his gaze on the back of the head of some third year at the table opposite. 

“Um, sure Stick, let me just come round” and the next thing Neil knows, Todd is unwrapping himself from Neil’s arm and raising himself up from his seat to walk around the table where he proceeds to lean over the back of Stick to read his poem, so close Neil thinks they might be touching. Neil looks as though steam might come shooting out of his ears at any moment, and Charlie seeing that Neil might be about to combust quickly asks him if he wants to come with him to get a drink from the water fountain.

Neil agrees, eager to get out of the study room that has now started to feel smaller and smaller the more he looks at Todd and Stick, and the two of them leave the room and head down the corridor to the nearest fountain.

“God, Charlie, Stick just winds me up you know. And what a dumb name… he’s from old money isn’t he, I bet it’s short for some damn stupid name like, god I don’t know, Stickathelion Stickwell the Third or some bullshit” Neil leans down and takes a gulp of water before rising up and he’s barely swallowed his drink before he’s speaking again, “and how can I beat that Charlie? Stick’s richer, and probably cooler than me, and Todd obviously thinks more handsome, how can I compete with that?” and then a bit like a petulant child Neil kicks the water fountain.

“Neil. We’ve been at school with Stick for six years, his last name is Sullivan.” Charlie continues, “and why would Todd give a crap about that shit anyways Neil? When has he ever come across as a stuck up stiff before?” Charlie’s words instantly put it all into perspective and Neil begins to feel guilty for even entertaining the idea that Todd would care about all that stuff, after all Todd is already his friend and the boy is so shy anyways. He may feel bad for his stupid comment about Todd, but Neil is still prone to pettiness and he won’t feel bad for Stick, because from his point of view Stick is an obstacle to the one thing Neil holds most dear.

Neil sleeps restlessly that night, all he can focus on is how close Todd leant to Stick and how he wishes Todd would lean over him like that and the sorrow he feels that now he will almost certainly only experience it in his dreams weighs down his chest and Neil cries over Todd for the first time. In the bed across from him Todd snores quietly, having drifted off to sleep earlier after Neil read him a poem, Neil wanted Todd to be thinking of his poetry and not Stick’s before he went to sleep in some strange wishful thinking that it might inspire Todd’s subconscious to conjure Neil up in his dreams and change his heart. Neil feels a bit ridiculous for this, but he’s so lost in the ocean that is Todd that he would do anything to see the shoreline.

Things get worse during their next English lesson, it starts off well, and Neil is once again doing his usual pastime of staring at the back of Todd’s head thinking of all the sonnets that he wants to recite to him, but then the Captain is instructing the boys to open their notebooks and suggesting they write down the first thing that comes to their head when he calls out a word or phrase, seeking to inspire some creativity and individuality in them. 

Neil notices how Stick, again sitting in the seat next to Todd, is rustling inside his pencil case and Neil rolls his eyes but silently thanks the universe for inconveniencing Stick a bit by making him lose his pen. Pretty quickly, however, Neil regrets praising the fates for this act because Stick turns to his left and stretches his arm across the gap in the aisle to tap Todd’s upper arm. Neil watches as Todd turns, and Neil doesn’t hear what he says but he can only assume he is asking what Stick wants, then he sees Todd nod his head and turn back to his desk where he pulls a pen from his case and hands it over to Stick. Stick grins widely and slaps Todd’s shoulder heartily in thanks and Neil wants to slide out of his seat onto the floor and melt into a puddle because now Stick is using one of Todd’s pens and Todd has never leant Neil a pen, in fact Neil has never wanted to ask for one from Todd because he uses those fancy ones that glide across the paper, and then Neil is annoyed because Stick is not worthy enough to use one of Todd’s fancy pens. Neil is so far down in his seat now that his neck hangs backwards and he’s staring at the ceiling and all he can think about is goddamn pens. It’s the longest English class Neil’s ever experienced.

It gets even more worse the next day when, as they enter the History classroom, Todd gasps a little and Neil follows Todd’s line of sight to see that he is missing his pencil case and then Todd is turning round to head back to the Maths class where he must have left it, Neil halts in the doorway and calls out to him and Todd turns his head back,

“Todd, you’ll be late-“ but the distraction meant that Todd was not watching where he was going and he collides into the chest of another boy. It’s cruel really, what the universe does to Neil. Because of course, it has to be Stick that Todd runs straight into the chest of, and it has to be Stick who grabs Todd by both his arms to steady him, and then it has to be Stick who asks where Todd is rushing off to, Todd stammers out an explanation and Stick chuckles and reaches into his own pocket from which he pulls out two pens and hands one to Todd,

“I brought spares today” and Todd thanks Stick and returns back to Neil’s side and they both continue to their seats. But Neil can’t help but think that maybe Stick brought spares because he wanted to lend one to Todd, and maybe both Stick, and Todd willed Todd to forget his pencil case in Maths so that they could exchange pens again.

Pens are the topic of discussion that night in Charlie and Knox’s room, the three boys had given Todd and the other Poets a lame excuse as to what they were doing, when in reality they were just discussing Neil and Todd’s romantic prospects. Neil was bemoaning the issue of the pens, how Todd and Stick had both swapped pens (because Neil noted that neither Stick nor Todd gave the pens they borrowed back to the lender), and when Knox asks what is so important about some pens Neil almost wails as he falls back against the pillow on Charlie’s bed.

“Jeez, Neil, exchanging pens… they’re practically married.” Charlie says with an air of sarcasm while Knox laughs, and Neil lifts the pillow from under his head and whacks Charlie across the head with it,

“Shut up, Nuwanda, and you too Knox,” he throws the pillow at Knox’s head this time, “you pine just as bad over Chris”. 

But the real nail in the coffin comes a few days later just after Todd has left their room to shower before bed, Neil gets up to get something from his jacket pocket which hangs on a hook on the door, and as he returns to his bed, he notices Todd’s journal is open. Now Neil is a very curious person, and Todd never shares anything from his journal. He knows he should not do it, but it’s only one poem and surely Todd won’t mind and probably won’t ever even know.

Safe to say it was a bad idea. Because Todd sees the name ‘For Stick’ scrawled in the top corner of the page and what follows is a love poem. Neil stamps his foot on the hardwood floor and shakes his arms in frustration, his only thought being whether there is truly no end to his suffering. Todd’s written goddamn love poetry about Stick; it can’t get much more romantic than that. He places the journal back on Todd’s desk exactly as he found it and climbs onto his own bed to await Todd’s return.

Neil makes a decision while he waits, he needs to know if Todd is straight. In a last-ditch effort to save his heart from the pain of unrequited love, Neil thinks it will be easier to recover from the heartbreak if it’s only unrequited because Todd is into women. After all he can’t help how he was born just like Neil can’t, no matter what Neil wishes. So, Neil decides he is going to quiz Todd on women and see if he can work it out from that. The door clicks open and Todd arrives back now dressed in his pyjamas with his tartan robe tied around his waist. He closes the door and his journal too as he passes his desk, before sitting on his bed and letting out a sigh. Neil pounces on him then, asking all sorts of questions, he asks which female celebrities he fancies, and things such as if he had to choose between Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn, which one would be his choice,

“Have you seen anyone in town you’ve taken a fancy to then? Any pretty girls?” Neil adjusts himself on his bed and leans backward, pushing against his hands, “I could set you up with a girl from Henley Hall, you know, from the play?” Neil winces a bit as he forces the words out of his mouth, but Neil wants Todd to reply with excitement and ask Neil to organise a date with one of their sister school’s girls because Neil is petty, and he would rather Todd be straight than be in love with Stick and not him. 

Todd cowers back a little and pushes his back against the wall’s corner bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them protectively, as if he is trying to make himself as small as possible. He murmurs something but Neil cannot hear what he says, and Todd flashes his eyes up only to realise that he hadn’t spoken loud enough, so he repeats his statement, still quiet, but this time Neil hears him clear as day,

“Neil, I- I’m gay.” the air goes still and Neil’s mouth opens in shock, he curses himself because he should have seen this coming, the whole straight thing was just a last thread of hope, then Neil stands up abruptly and practically yelps out,

“God, it’s Stick isn’t it!?” and then he spins towards the door and marches out into the hall leaving Todd staring dumbstruck after him, he travels down the corridor slightly before barging into Charlie’s room, the room’s sole occupant- Knox must still be showering- sits smoking a pipe on the bed and perusing a magazine. Charlie whips his head up at the intrusion, but before he has even had a chance to say anything to Neil, Neil has flopped himself down onto Knox’s bed and shoved his face into the pillow where he proceeds to scream for as long as his breath lasts, Charlie stares at the shape on Knox’s bed in utter confusion until suddenly Neil stands up again and marches right back out into the corridor,

“Well, that happened.” and Charlie goes back to his magazine and pipe, having a vague idea that all would be well soon. Charlie was normally right about these things.

Neil enters his and Todd’s room again, and begins to make a speech about how he knows Todd is in love with Stick and as much as he wants to hear what Todd wants to say, he doesn’t know if he can take it right now and then he’s suggesting they go to bed and forget what happened, Neil throws himself on his bed and gets under the covers, Todd still sat on his bed processing what the hell is going on, and just before Neil can turn his bedside lamp off Todd cries out,

“It’s not Stick who I like it’s-“ but Neil cuts Todd off, and sits up in his bed,

“If it’s not Stick, then wh-what about the poem?” Neil turns fully towards Todd now and swings his feet off the mattress, placing them back on the floor where he begins to impatiently tap his foot.

“What poem?” Todd looks confused,

“The poem you wrote for Stick in your journal…” Neil answers truthfully,

“You read my journal!?” Todd looks betrayed, and Neil curses himself, he should have epected this,

“No- uh, yes… it was an accident”

“Neil.” the brown-haired boy leaps up off his bed now and waving his hands about replies,

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but it was open on a poem that had Stick’s name written at the top!”

“That was for his girlfriend! He asked me to write a love poem for his girlfriend!” Todd stands up too now, impassioned by Neil’s misunderstanding and the invasion of his privacy,

“Oh. It wasn’t for him then. You didn’t write the love poem about him?”

“No Neil! In fact, I took my inspiration from you! I was going to change the pronouns and details to fit Stick’s girl before I gave it to him, they’ve been going steady for two months and he asked me to write it for their anniversary- he can’t write so well you see!” Todd rubs his face with his hand, looking like he’s aged a decade throughout this conversation, 

“From me?”

“Yes you, you idiot. I’m in love with you, the poem was inspired by you. I tried using Stick a bit to try make you jealous, but it didn’t seem to be working, even though Charlie said it would, so I gave up.”

“Oh it worked” Neil mutters, “remind me to have a word with Charlie later.”

“Is that all you have to say then?”

“No. But there is something I want to do first…”

“Wha-“, and Neil has closed the gap between the two of them to place his lips over Todd’s and he leaves a soft peck on Todd’s mouth before pulling back, but then Todd lifts his hands to Neil’s cheeks and he is pulling Neil’s face back towards his own and then they’re a clash of teeth and lips and they smile against each other’s mouths, and maybe if they’d just spoke to each other about their feelings they could have been doing a lot more of this a lot earlier. Todd pulls away, and then rushes back to press short kiss to Neil’s lips again. Todd smirks at Neil and says,

“Well, you’d better apologise to Stick for being such an ass. He did ask me what he had done to upset you, but I couldn’t give him an answer, I never thought it was because of me, I entertained the idea for a bit, but… truth be told I thought you were stressed out because of the play.”

“Todd, you’re so oblivious. But I love you.”

“I love you too, Neil.”

**Author's Note:**

> my twt is @nuwanderism if you want to follow or say hi :)


End file.
